When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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