Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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