matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I need help removing her.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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