kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
