i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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