doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
