They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
