she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
