I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
