Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
