Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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