Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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