Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
