soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
