$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
