I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
