told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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