god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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