How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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