The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
