You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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