so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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