I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
