I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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