the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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