..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
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literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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