Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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