So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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