You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
