She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
tell me about the fingering
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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