So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
