dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
