I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
