Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
