I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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