It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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