So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
