And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
