you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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