Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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