He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
