it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
