Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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