i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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