If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
