Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
