Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
