So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Welp...herpes.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
