I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
