I heard we made out
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
