I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
