i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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