I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
