Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
