Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ass is underappreciated
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
