Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
