he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
