Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
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I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
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Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize