Me too!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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