I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
