I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
