I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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