Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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