Whod you bang
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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