I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
