Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
